Fanciful Translations

I have a fascination with languages and the process of learning them, how the affect culture and how cultures affect them. I also appreciate very much the humor element of mistakes in it. Years ago a friend of mine was trying to learn to speak Spanish. He was also accountable for safety in our Human Resources group and, in that spirit, he wrote me a note that said, “Have a caja fuerte Christmas.” Caja fuerte means safe but in the sense of a vault or strong box. It took me a minute to figure out what he meant to say and I have not ceased laughing at this for five years. The following offering comes from the Holiday Inn in Santiago. I have kept faithfully duplicated the spelling from the little card:

KEEP IT IN MIND!
HERE ARE SOME FOLLOWING USEFUL ADVICES.

Our city is very safe, however we care of yourself and want you to remind some aspects for your own security.

1. Once you have entered into your room, you may check that the main door has been completely closed and locked up. The same way, everytime you have to go out from your room, be sure main door has been quite closed.
2. If you are carrying worthly objects or jewels, we suggest you to keep them into the safe box provided in your room. For further instructions of use, please ask to front desk.
3. If somebody knocks the door of your room and you have not asked for any room service, we recommend you not to open the door. Instead of it, you may call to front desk, dialing “0”.
4. Our property has given special instructions to Front Desk personnel in order not to allow people non registered as guests in any room in the property. Therefore, guests may receive their visitors in the lobby of the hotel.
5. According to international standards for Holiday Inn hotels chain, every person must be registered at front desk before entering to any guest room.
6. Parking access will stay blocked between 24:00 hrs. PM and 6:00 hrs, AM. ?To enter there, please ask for it to be opened calling to the front desk through one of the housephones placed to one side of the entry door. Doors will be opened only after a previous check through video cameras and the confirmation of registered passengers by front desk personnel.
7. Do not let papers or documents anywhere in which you could have written down your current account, your security key, your safe box key or any other important data.
8. We remind you that our property is not responsible for loosings or thefts. Do not forget your personal belongings in the cafeteria, lobby, business center, swimming pool or another common area.
9. If you wish to have a rest or need to work without any kind of disturb, you may hold “Do not disturb – No molestar” card in the outside of the main door.

Travel Fun And Tectonic Cataclysm

Back home in the States now, but in two short weeks prior to coming home, I experienced two spectacular events, one manmade and the other an act of God .

When I made my reservations to travel to Peru this last time, the only option open to me was to route through Dallas to LA and to Lima. Out of the ordinary routine, I was quizzical but, if the internet tells you to do it… I am feeling slightly Homer Simpsonish at this point, relating all of this. Anyway, I accepted the information and went on my way.

I left Albuquerque with what seemed ample time and made my connection in Dallas with no hitches. They announced a tiny mechanical glitch that would need to be handled to get us on our way to LA but still, I was reasonably nonplussed. However, the “little part” took forever to get to us from the American Airlines shop. Turning into a late departure, it resulted in my arriving in LA with just about 1 hour before my Lima flight was to depart. I ran like the very wind (a sort of sweaty and balding Zephyr flapping down the escalator) only to discover that LAN, the sister airline had closed the flight before I even started to sprint… Of course, the problem belonged to American and you might already be guessing it was my lot to fall in with a ticket agent that exhibited all of the wit and intellectual acumen that one expects from large root vegetables. I know, you think me callous and brutal to speak so harshly of the plant kingdom but I have more regard for rocks than that. She simply told me that she could not begin to figure this out and so, told me to go to someone who could and she passed me off to her supervisor.

Incidentally, the ticked supervisor wanted to know which of her subordinates said that she could not figure it out and … I said that I had no particular interest in getting into a labor dispute at the AA counter and just wanted her help. A little later, the hapless dolt wandered into our activities and asked if I was getting taken care of… The supervisor wheeled around and asked, “Were you the one…?” It took an hour and a half to get it all taken care of and I remained quite patiently looking on as Veronica, helped me out of my crisis. She spoke in awe that I did not snap at her but the LAN plane had pulled out and she represented my only salvation.

Thankfully, this woman knew how to run the computer and found the only possible solution that involved my flying to Miami and then on to Lima but with two ten hour plus layovers. Of course it did not end there since the flight out of Miami had a three hour delay. By the time I missed all of my meetings and got into a bed again, my 17 hour trip evolved insidiously into a 47 hour from-one-bed-to-the-next odyssey, qualifying as my worst on record! Julie marveled that I still laughed while in the Miami airport with its multiple levels of dysfunctionality… arguably, the worst airport in Latin America!

My time in Peru went by with reasonable lack of drama until two days before I left. I managed to schedule my trip over the Arequipa anniversary celebration. I got invited to a rock concert the night of the 14th and it turned out to be a Rock, followed by a Merengue, followed by a Salsa… concert that should have gone on until four in the morning. We bailed out a 1am and went home, thankfully. I truly enjoyed myself to be truthful though.

The next day I attended the parade festivities with one Saya group followed by a Morenada group after another… It is just about as interesting to watch as it is to read about but I had never done that before. I went with my friends Marti and Tere and their family members. When we got back from the parade, we met a reasonably hysterical younger sister who said that we had just had an earth tremor. Peruvians distinguish between tremors and earthquakes because of their frequency. I had the sense to call Julie directly and tell her that I had just heard that there had been a tremor and that it could be something bigger somewhere else and that she should know that I was ok.

Within about 30 minutes I could not make another phone call. This was August 15th and the earthquake had struck just West of Pisco, Peru. It turned out to be an 8+ on the Richter scale. First reports were of two earthquakes but it seems that there was only one massive jolt for about a minute. The chaos that ensued resulted in somewhere around 500 dead, 1500 injured and a total collapse of the phone and other systems. They announced on TV that the airline flights were cancelled and that meant problems for me getting out of the country. The president declared a national state of emergency. I am patient about such things and decided it was better to just sit tight and wait it out.

However, the next day they reestablished the flights and I made mine to Lima. In the course of the day, I heard that looting had begun in Chincha and Ica because the store owners had begun gouging and charging 3x the normal price for commodities and there simply was no food.

While in Lima I experienced four aftershocks that I recognized as such (They said that by the time I left the seismometers had registered more than 200). My flights left on time despite the earthquake and in contrast to the previous travel, all went off saspenuviously like my friend Joe used to say. Back at home I practically started planning immediately for the next trip, leaving on Tuesday, paying for sins of a previous life I believe...

Family Reunion

I had a wonderful week spent it with most of my children and with my two grandchildren. I don't think it gets much better than this. I am hugely blessed to have the remarkable children I do let alone the grandchildren I have. What a rare treat! Ben has learned to sign many things and most importantly does Papa which consists of his thumb placed on his forehead and his five fingers extended up in a kind of salute.







Olivia is simply adorable and loves to talk to whomever loves her and chats with her. She has a beautiful smile that truly captivates you. It makes me want to spend all of my time there and I miss the two of them.












The Peruvians call this Chocho... I certainly am!