NOT Snakes On The Plane!

I am probably just dense, but I don’t get it. When you get on the planes operated by LAN Chile and related network, they get you all in there and then they decide to fuel the plane. They tell you, “Ladies and Sirs, we are about to be fueling the plane. You will please to remain in your seatings with your seatbelts unfastened until the fuelings are complete. While you are remaining in your seatings, you will please not to use the lavatories. You will to refrain from smoking and you will keep your electronical devices turned off.”

Now it just seems to me that the solution here is not to fuel the plane after everyone is on there. I think this comes of LAN safety execs watching a few too many Action Adventure movies. It would probably be good for them to have a look at their clientele. These are not Nicholas Cage or Tom Cruise clones we are talking about here. One only has to look at my Fester pix to figure out that I am not up to the antics of Mission Impossible 4.6 or wherever the _ _ _ _ he is in the series. I'm not sure what their plan is. Just like poker, with most things Latin, they like to keep plans very tight to their chest...You wouldn't want anyone to actually know what you have in mind ahead of the emergency, that is for certain.

Anyway, I am just thinking that on the outside chance that a spark from my five-year-old, beat-up iPod (I’ve never seen it spark but there are always firsts) triggers the blast of the fuel that turns a LAN jet into a ball of fire and shrapnel, I find it difficult to imagine the escape plan. They certainly have not made clear what they have in mind on any of the 101 Refueling courses in which I have participated. I am pretty sure that we are not going to dive headlong out of the plane en masse and do tuck-and-rolls to safety on the tarmac. The little old grandparents in the seat ahead of me, at the very least are going to keep me from running faster than a ball of exploding jet fuel, never mind my 15 extra kilos around my mid-section…I’m just guessing, mind you. I could be entirely wrong, I mean, though I have only seen the trailer but it looks pretttttty believable after all…??? So if snakes can get loose, maybe their plan will work…