A Little Twist on What keeps the Doctor Away

Just when I think I have heard about everything, as John Hiatt says, “The bearded lady comes and does a double back flip…” my life here in Peru just has a way of getting more and more fascinating.

The other night one of our nurses came to me and said, “Geronimo is lying on his floor unconscious and foaming at the mouth, may I go and see him.” Of course I said, “Yes!” Geronimo is one of our workers. She filled me in on the rest as we were traveling to Espinar for a field trip with the compesinos the next day.

When she got to Geronimo’s house, he was indeed unconscious and reeking of some hideous alcoholic concoction. His family was all around him crying and carrying on telling her to not let him die. When she discerned that he was in a state of alcoholic intoxication, she turned to the crowd of sobbing relatives and said, “Would you shut up! He is not going to die, get over here and help me or he will!”

She taught them to massage him to get the blood flowing and to get him conscious and once he finally came around; she made him stand up and urinate in a bottle. Then she filled a cup with the urine and made him drink it! He perked up a bit, made a sort of clicking noise in the back of his throat and twitched and gulped while she refilled the cup and made him drink it again. This time he quivered and sat up straighter. This served to clear his head and then she made them give him some caffeine.

When she told me this, I shuddered and made my big GAACCCKKK! face and then she said, “I learned about the urine trick from my grandmother who made my grandfather drink his own urine to get him out of a similar condition.” I said, “Well, I bet the other men there think twice about drinking themselves blind next time…”